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teal-deer:

chynnaclugstonflores:

Indeed.
zerorymer:

This is also true for many artists.



Seriously if you want to date me try this

teal-deer:

chynnaclugstonflores:

Indeed.

zerorymer:

This is also true for many artists.

Seriously if you want to date me try this

Here is some things I need urban fantasy to stop asap:

chocolate-dandy:

mihaelkeehling:

  • all about getting the d and/or the v
  • vampires vs. werewolves.
  • ~everyone’s white~
  • let’s take this urban fantasy and set in it in a upper-class suburban neighborhood
  • “social issues”?? L O L
  • stalking is ~*t r u e r o m a n c e*~
  • SOULMATES BECAUSE REASONS
  • “world-building”?? L O L 
  • PREJUDICE!!!1!!1 AGAINST VAMPIRES!!!! SO BAD OH NO
  • ~everyone is straight~
  • practice black magic you can’t sit with us
  • can’t use actual legends bc then nobody will be pretty
  • “urban”??? HAHAHA PLS
  • everyone
  • must
  • be
  • beautiful
  • pssh why would the government care about magic
  • the apocalypse is coming … eventually
  • no we swear it is
  • see it happened the power went out how traumatic
  • mental illness = EVIL WRETCHED MONSTER OUT DAMNED SPOT
  • more than??? just??? vampires and??? werewolves????
  • sex every other page
  • TECHNOLOGY IS FOR SILLY HUMANS!!!!1
  • no seriously where is the “urban” part send out a search party

Oh shit we’re talking about urban fantasy pet peeves?

  • Protagonists with unexplained seeming millions in income but still working as fucking private detectives or stuff
  • Weird coloured eyes denoting magical power
  • "Oh, sure, I’m a criminal, but I’m cute and sassy not like those other criminals who are mean and need to be taken down”
  • Magic and the supernatural being secret for no discernible reason
  • The most powerful magical shit always being European (and almost certainly from either the Celtic or Norse mythologies)
  • The Fae being nothing but pretty, rich Shakespeare characters
  • "I heard that you’re the person to call for… strange problems" HOW THE FUCK DOES WORD GET AROUND LIKE THAT
  • Protagonists gaining power from 50 different sources
  • Angels being boring assholes, sometimes with wings
  • Everybody’s white (yeah, I know it’s in the initial post but fuck it)
  • EVERYBODY’S WHITE (see? Did it again)
  • People who hang around with vampires and fling fireballs rolling their eyes are someone who has faith in a divine figure
  • Alchemy being just Harry Potter style potion brewing
  • Huge fucking reams of text describing how magic and your metaphysics work
  • Huge fucking reams of text describing how magic and your metaphysics work which are then completely ignored by the protagonist 
  • Huge fucking reams of text describing how magic and your metaphysics work which basically boil down to ‘magic can do anything shut up’
  • Huge ass secret societies of supernatural creatures/people who just swan around and be generally evil
  • Magic always being able to be described perfectly in scientific terms while also completely ignoring science (seriously, guys, there’s nothing wrong with having magic that is only explainable by it’s own twisted logic)
  • THE FUCKING VAMPIRE KILLING LIST, WHERE THE PROTAGANIST EXPLAINS HOW MANY OF THE OLD FOLKTALES ABOUT VAMPIRES ARE JUST SUPERSTITION WITH THE SAME TIRED LINES BEING REPEATED IN EVERY SINGLE BOOK
  • Werewolves who follow the alpha/beta/gamma pack structure
  • Demons who are purely Biblical/Apocryphal despite no other form of Biblical shit being real
  • Milton is not canon
  • Repeat it with me: MILTON IS NOT FUCKING CANON
  • Magic that runs on bullshit ‘inner power’ reserves so the author can fudge things to their heart’s content

More to come after I’ve had a drink

(Source: erwinsmiths, via spectretloak)

*15
howcanyoulivewithoutlove:

So I’m watching Austin Powers International Man Of Mystery and I just found a great point that slipped way over my head when I was younger

howcanyoulivewithoutlove:

So I’m watching Austin Powers International Man Of Mystery and I just found a great point that slipped way over my head when I was younger

(via live-from-studio-60)

jabberwockyx:

This scene is seriously the cutest thing ever.

(via unnatural-twenty)

skittle-happy-matt:

goonpunch:

thesteven1:

#Read to filth by the Queen of England.

The queen has reached dangerous levels of sass

Gays Save The Queen

skittle-happy-matt:

goonpunch:

thesteven1:

#Read to filth by the Queen of England.

The queen has reached dangerous levels of sass

Gays Save The Queen

(via ambiguterus)

screaming-towards-apotheosis:

sebadasstian-stan:

agentsofthenterprise:

so how about a movie starring Chris Evans, Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth, and Chris Pratt directed by Christopher Nolan naturally titled The Crisis 

THE CHRISIS

Coming out this Christmas

(via liveinink)

*7

feelinranty:

sleepydumpling:

A swallow just flew into the side of my head! Since when have swallows had such shitty navigational skills?

Clearly you’re a Disney princess and it just got a bit excited because it’s never been close enough to a princess to be THAT swallow before

Did it at least sing a song

  • me: *owns 264 unread books*
  • me: *buys 17 new books*
  • me: *rereads harry potter*

durnesque-esque:

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

DO YOU EVER JUST GET REALLY EXCITED ABOUT HISTORY AND MUSEUMS AND SHIT

YES. YES I DO.